Nothing to read here, move along.......

So I'm about to close the store and in walks a customer with her 10ish year old daughter. I tell them that I have to close the store in 5 minutes, and she says fine and slowly wanders away to browse. My co-worker asks her if we can help, and she says she wants a skirt. When we asked if she wanted casual or dressy, her response was that she worked on 5th street. On our 5th street we have everything from a head shop to a Christian book store, so ummmm, casual or dressy? We get her into a dressing room, and her daughter keeps bringing her in stuff. We tell her that we have locked the doors, and we need to close out our tills, and she has 2 more minutes. She comes slowly, out about 5 minutes later, puts some stuff on the counter, and walks away to check something else out that has caught her eye.  I then tell her that head office will be calling soon to find out why we haven't closed, and sent in our daily report, and she asked if they would be mad. My co-worker said they would be, and she said something like "poor you, that's sad". Her whole demeanor was holier than thou, and that we should be happy that she came to shop in our store. I asked her what store she worked in, and she said, "Oh, we own Jacob's Well" the Christian Book Store. We finished the transaction and then she asked if she could stay in the store and browse while we cash out, and when we said no, she said, "Oh, of course, we own a store, I should know that." When she left I realized, she never once apologized for making us stay open late, she never once rushed to get her shopping done quickly, a never once gave any thought for me, or my co-worker. I was in a rush and had to drive to Nanaimo to pick up my kids, 1 1/2 hours away, and my co-worker had already put in a 9 hour day. Her rudeness, and holy attitude reminded me why I won't go back to church. There are far too many of those types around.

So it's been a while since I posted, sorry. Things here are hectic as usual. My step mother is now considered a palliative patient, baseball season has started for Zach, and I think I have swine flu.

First my step Mom ... on her last days, so they say. I think she'll last at least another year. She's a tough gal, and isn't in any pain. I hope it stays that way for her to the end. I can't say this was unexpected, but it isn't a lot of fun to think about. I'm hoping that my Dad and step sister let me help out in whatever way they need, I want to be there. They probably don't need a lot of help, but I need to feel useful, purely selfish of me.

Baseball. Zach has a lot of natural ability, but an extreme deficiency in the focus department. This is really funny to watch, but it also brings out the coach in me. I'm that mom. The one who coaches and encourages from the sidelines. The one who ever other mother there wishes would shut up. I know I'm controlling at times, I hate that part of me. I try really hard to just be a regular cheerleader like the rest of the parents, but when he's standing on the pitchers mound (not pitching, that's the coaches job for this league), with his head down kicking the dirt and the batter is about to smack one right into his face, I tend to get a bit ... protective. One mom in particular isn't fond of me, and sends me frequent dirty looks. Then she calls to tell me that she's starting a sign up for snack, and we can all pick a couple of days to bring in a snack and a drink for the entire team for after practice and games. I'm sorry, but when we get there at 6 and the game is over at 7, and he's already had dinner and dessert, there is no need for a snack. We bring a water bottle and that should be (and is for Zach) enough. Not to mention, I don't have the extra cash to be buying juice boxes and granola bars for the team. I told her we wouldn't be participating, and she almost had a heart attack trying not to freak on me. She said she just thought it would be a fun thing for the team, I agreed, but declined. She doesn't need to know I'm broke. So Zach didn't get her snack tonight, and told her a polite no thank you, with his best hangdog expression. Chalk up another shitty mom point for me!

That's enough whining.  I'm usually happy, my kids are great, my husband is a wonderful man who loves me very much.  Poor me, huh, right!  I'm rich in all things that matter. 

Until the next time.

So Zach is definitely sick, Jessica too. I'm still wondering if it might be hay fever. However, they still have the energy to do all the things they need to do in their busy days. Zach especially lately seems to be a whirlwind. He's in the middle of a play production at his school (he’s a Truffala Tree) which wraps up tonight, and then Little League starts. In fact I need to go pick up his uniform tonight while he's at his play. Both of the kids also have swimming today, the last of their lessons for now. I might put Jess back in for one more session before summer, but between Beavers and baseball, I think Zach will be too busy for more swimming lessons. I feel like I live for everyone else. I love watching my kids experience all these new things, but I really wish I had some time during the day that is mine. Listen to me whine! I do have time, three mornings a week, when Jess is in school, but this week I haven't had that. She came with me to see Zach's play yesterday, and I need to be with her on Friday for a school field trip. My time is being taken away, and I guess I've really come to enjoy my "coffee with the girls". I think it's a necessary part of staying sane in Mommyland. Looking forward to getting schedules back on track next week.

Until next time,

I have to say, I have not been feeling healthy lately. I haven't really been sick, the usual spring allergies and sniffles not withstanding. I just know that I need to be healthier. I need to lose at least 65-75 lbs and quit smoking. I had a hard time breathing last night and my chest hurt, I think I just spiked a fever and had some muscle cramping in my chest, but who knows. Scary for sure. I used to keep track of my weight loss here in this blog, sort of an accountability thing, but no one really reads my blog anymore. I would love to go back on Jenny Craig. I found it an easy and successful system, but the cost is astronomical! Maybe I just need to do it the hard way. A harder won fight is infinitely more rewarding. Maybe my doctor would have some suggestions, and prescription help, at least with the smoking issue.

It looks like Jessica and Zach are having the same problem with allergies as I do. Jessica is coughing, and a little sniffly, and Zach is all stuffy. I’m hoping I’m wrong and that we just have a cold. I hated having allergies as a kid, and all the ear infections that went along with the allergies. I suppose if we manage things properly we won’t have to worry about the dreaded ear infections.

Zach is excited about the upcoming play at his school, and of course he wants to try out for the Rainbow Youth Theater plays this summer. Jessica is game to try out as well, I think she’s old enough this year. They’re putting on the Wizard of Oz, and Aladdin Jr., should be fun.

That’s all for now, until the next time,

I was very happy this weekend. I got to spend a couple of hours with my husband Mike, hanging out and supporting him in his favorite pass time. Cycling. It isn't easy to watch a cycling race, I much prefer to do it on the television where the camera follows the pack of racers. In person you get to see the racers speed by you and you cheer, and then it's over. A lot of waiting for very little. This was somewhat the case on Sunday, but I didn't even get to see him race at all. He was on an 8 leg 9 person relay race team. I saw the road cyclist come in and transition to the canoe people, but Mike did his part on the mountain bike leg, and you just can't see a thing through the trees! The kids enjoyed waiting around, and watching the teams come in. Mike met us there and we headed home together, the race not even over. We didn't think the team did as well as they were hoping to do, but we decided to go to the finish line and find the team anyway. As a last minute thought I called in our sitter for a few hours, just so Mike and I could have some time alone together. When we arrived at the marina we found out that their team had won in the military masters division, so we stayed for the award ceremony and had a couple of beers with the team. Good times. Then we went out for coffee together, just Mike and I, and I fell in love again. I am so lucky to have such a good man. Even on the days I don't want to be married or be a mom or have any attachments, I still love him and my kids enough to muddle through the darker days. Which brings me to my big judgments.

I hate knowing that I have this side to me, this side that gets angry at relative strangers. This side of me that judges when I have no right, because none of us ever have a right to judge. But I really have a hard time when I hear about mothers who leave their children. I can't imagine a scenario that would put me in a place where I would choose to do that. I think the learning here for me is that I am not them, and that I have no idea what their life is about. Could be that leaving the children really is the best thing for all involved. So to those of you out there who might be feeling the negative vibe from me, please excuse me, and my rudeness. I will endeavor to live and let live, and wish the best to you all, I suppose it's what I would want you to do for me. Pardon me while I grow, and leave stretch marks on my psyche.