So it's been a while since I posted, sorry. Things here are hectic as usual. My step mother is now considered a palliative patient, baseball season has started for Zach, and I think I have swine flu.

First my step Mom ... on her last days, so they say. I think she'll last at least another year. She's a tough gal, and isn't in any pain. I hope it stays that way for her to the end. I can't say this was unexpected, but it isn't a lot of fun to think about. I'm hoping that my Dad and step sister let me help out in whatever way they need, I want to be there. They probably don't need a lot of help, but I need to feel useful, purely selfish of me.

Baseball. Zach has a lot of natural ability, but an extreme deficiency in the focus department. This is really funny to watch, but it also brings out the coach in me. I'm that mom. The one who coaches and encourages from the sidelines. The one who ever other mother there wishes would shut up. I know I'm controlling at times, I hate that part of me. I try really hard to just be a regular cheerleader like the rest of the parents, but when he's standing on the pitchers mound (not pitching, that's the coaches job for this league), with his head down kicking the dirt and the batter is about to smack one right into his face, I tend to get a bit ... protective. One mom in particular isn't fond of me, and sends me frequent dirty looks. Then she calls to tell me that she's starting a sign up for snack, and we can all pick a couple of days to bring in a snack and a drink for the entire team for after practice and games. I'm sorry, but when we get there at 6 and the game is over at 7, and he's already had dinner and dessert, there is no need for a snack. We bring a water bottle and that should be (and is for Zach) enough. Not to mention, I don't have the extra cash to be buying juice boxes and granola bars for the team. I told her we wouldn't be participating, and she almost had a heart attack trying not to freak on me. She said she just thought it would be a fun thing for the team, I agreed, but declined. She doesn't need to know I'm broke. So Zach didn't get her snack tonight, and told her a polite no thank you, with his best hangdog expression. Chalk up another shitty mom point for me!

That's enough whining.  I'm usually happy, my kids are great, my husband is a wonderful man who loves me very much.  Poor me, huh, right!  I'm rich in all things that matter. 

Until the next time.